Saturday, August 29, 2009

Inspiration

I just came from a small art show on the campus corner in my college town. As an artist myself, I am always inspired, not only by other people's work, but by the fact that they are out there creating and sharing their talents.

I have not participated in an art festival, though I have shown some of my paintings in restaurants. I've sold most of what I've painted but mostly to family and friends. I did sell a few things to people who never met me when I had a booth in a consignment market. That was very exciting. I love to paint and to write but I always seem to put in on the back burner while I toil away at a less than creative desk job. I thought I'd start this blog as a general on line journal to help me sort out my thoughts about why I am doing what I am doing and not what I think I want to do.

It is a process that I know a lot of people battle. I have a friend who is a singer/song writer and several that paint or write. But we toil away to support lifestyles we don't even want to be living.

Let me rephrase that just a bit. There is plenty about my life that is wonderful and that I love especially my friends and the travel I've been able to do in recent years. But basically, I am living a past life in the sense that my marriage ended and my son grew up but I am still living in the same house which requires a lot of effort and upkeep and there's a good size mortgage to fund and that keeps me toiling at the day job. I don't need this big house and yard and the burden that it has become. It served its purpose for me for years as I raised my son and cared for a family but now it has become a boulder around my neck. I love the neighborhood but it's no longer worth the stress. The good news is that it is up for sale and I'm waiting for the right person to come along.

I realize that plenty of people pursue their dreams with more passion and perseverance. They stay up late or get up early putting in the hours that a creative life requires while they do the day job. And I have done this also and it served me well but I burned out burning the candle at both ends.

So, I am taking steps to move into a different phase and a different kind of life. I'm a bit like the elephant tied to the stake and when they cut the chain the elephant doesn't move. I am conditioned for this life of stress and strain. So part of my practice will be to enlarge my comfort zone gradually so that fear of the unknown doesn't undo my good intentions.

When I fall to feeling trapped and frustrated I need to remind myself that I am taking the right steps. The house is up for sale and there is plenty to do in the mean time to ready myself for this new life.