Saturday I had another amazing massage. Before I went I got out a vision board I had started earlier in the year. I've wanted to tweak it some but haven't taken the time. I was looking through my box of photos, quotes and scrap paper when I came across a journal I had started in December of last year. I was frustrated because I had lost the motivation to create anything and I was trying to figure out why. I found I had made a list of possible reasons everything from past life injury to this life fear of personal power. I think I had about 9 possible reasons. I journaled one page about my frustration, made the list and put it away. I had to laugh when I saw it though I still remember my frustration and it wasn't funny in the moment.
All that mental hoop jumping trying to figure it out and in the end it turns out that I was just tired. Exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. The well had just gone dry and I didn't recognize the symptoms. Instead, I do what most peopl do and that is beat myself up about it. And that helps, of course.
However, I am glad that things worked out like they did because I learned a great deal from the experience.
One thing I learned is that I am a creative person and I am always going to be a creative person. An artist in some form or fashion. I don't have to worry that the Muse is going to depart the building for good. So, if I cycle back around to this subject again I won't beat myself up again. Creating is not a phase it is supposed to be our way of life. In whatever form we choose we are all co-creators of our lives. So, I can put that to rest.
Creating any kind of artistic endeavor takes a lot of energy and focus, drive and motivation. And if it is one thing I have learned in other areas is that you have to fill your own well first. When you give anything out of the excess of the flow then you are not depleted. Try giving from a dry well and the results are poor or none at all. Or, you give and are resentful, angry, depressed.
In life, awareness is the key to any problem you have. Bring awareness to the situation and sooner or later you will hit on the solution. When you are feeling frustrated or resentful (milder forms of anger), ask yourself in what ways are you not taking care of you. I read an author recently that said that when you are frustrated with life and want to pack it all in and run away from home that is a sure sign that you are neglecting your own Extreme Self-Care.